Original Resources
These resources, designed by Saira and Mendality, are free to access and use for any visitors to the site.
Recovery from Coercive Control Podcast
In this podcast, Saira unpacks how coercive control impacts mental health, what psychology can teach us about recovery, and how to promote healing to build a hopeful future. As well as specialising in mental health and recovery from trauma, Saira has lived experience of coercive control, so she knows how important and misunderstood this topic is. We hope this podcast will be helpful in your journey to understanding what has happened to you and provide some new insights and perhaps even help you feel less alone.
Podcast Episodes
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Saira Khan is a psychologist and a human rights advocate. Her areas of interest are mental health and recovery from trauma. She also has lived experience of coercive control.
In this episode, Saira introduces herself and explains why she has created this podcast series.
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The first step in recovery from coercive control is understanding what has happened to you. Next is to make sense of it before you can accept that it has actually happened. In this episode, Saira explores what coercive control is, so you can recognise it happening and begin the healing process.
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Recovery from coercive control is possible. Although every survivor has their own story, there are similarities in the way that people recover. Saira's work with survivors is based on Judith Herman's stages of recovery. As you'll often hear, recovery is not linear – it's more like a spiral. In this episode, Saira explores how she works with survivors and the stages of recovery.
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For people on the outside of abusive relationships, it can be very confusing to see survivors return to the person who has harmed them. This desire or urge to go back to someone who has hurt them is often confusing for the survivor, too.
In this episode, Saira examines why this might happen.
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According to Saira, much of the research around survivors of coercive control is grim and dark. Of course, survivors, including Saira herself, have been through grim and dark times, but they also have a real strength. It's important to note that post-traumatic growth does not mean that the crisis or trauma that was experienced was worth experiencing in any way, but that the gains that happened were an unintended consequence of this horrific event. In this episode, Saira shares her thoughts on post-traumatic growth.
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After a crisis, everything can feel like a big ball of distress.
Everything feels as though it is spilling out, and it can be hard to make sense of what is happening internally. To help with this, Saira uses mindfulness.In this episode, she explains what mindfulness is and why it's so helpful for recovery, from a psychological perspective. Of course, as with every tool in the recovery toolkit, it doesn't work for everybody. Trust your judgment and intuition.
Insight Timer
I have created these mindfulness practices for you to try, which are available on the Insight Timer app. You can access them via the embedded player or using this link.
You're best off starting with the shorter ones, bringing them in a few times a week. It can be hard to break the patterns of our lives to do these exercises, but it is worth the trouble. Your mind is going to wander during these practices. Don't worry, it's what minds do. In mindfulness, the work comes when you notice your mind is drifting and you bring it back to the present and the practice.
Some discomfort and difficulty are to be expected because it is work. You are changing your neurological pathways and working on your attentional system, so bear that in mind when you decide if this is something that would work for you. These practices are all trauma-sensitive.