What is Coercive Control?
The first step in recovery is understanding what has happened to you.
The next is making sense of what has happened to you, before you accepting that this has actually happened.
And you can't start that first step until you know what coercive control actually is.
Coercive control is a form of abuse where one person tries to dominate and manipulate another in subtle but harmful ways. It's not just about physical violence; it’s about controlling someone’s life, thoughts, and actions over time.
Coercive Control is the multifaceted working underpinning domestic violence, the emotional and psychological abuse where the abuser manipulates and dominates the victim through non-violent means. This can involve tactics like isolating the victim from their support network, controlling where they go and who they interact with, constantly monitoring their movements, humiliating or belittling them, and making them feel worthless. Coercive control is about removing freedom and independence. It’s a pattern of behaviours that are about entrapment and erosion of identity. It is about creating an environment of fear and submission without necessarily involving physical violence. It’s about control, not love. It can happen in any kind of relationship—romantic, familial, or even friendship.
Coercive control can cause deep psychological harm. Over time, the victim starts to lose confidence in their judgment and ability to make decisions. They may feel like they can’t leave, that they are not capable, that no one will believe them, or that they’re not worthy of help.
The abuse often gets worse the longer it goes on, and it can be difficult to spot from the outside because it’s not as obvious as physical violence. But just because it’s harder to see doesn’t mean it’s not damaging. Especially distressing is when it is a person, group or community that the person has previously turned to for support.
